Letters From The Heart 4

I always look forward to Sundays when I have the opportunity to worship with the body of Christ. I am so thankful for my church family. I wanted mom to come to church today but she was not feeling good. I hope she is able to come next week. I am going to ask mom if the church can come over and lay hands on her for healing. I believe that God is the Great Healer and Restorer. We do serve a mighty God!

It was pretty much a quiet day...Mom just finished up her dinner, she didn't eat much, she hasn't ate much lately. She has lost a few pounds, hopefully she doesn't lose anymore.

Monday starts radiation again. Mom meets with the Doctor on Friday this week. My hands are folded in prayer....

Tonight's thoughts come from:

James 5:13-16 Are any among you suffering? They should keep on praying about it. And those who have reason to be thankful should continually sing praises to the Lord. Are any among you sick? They should call on the elders of the church and have them pray over them, anointing them with oil in the name of the Lord. And their prayer offered in faith will heal the sick, and the Lord will make them well. And anyone who has committed sins will be forgiven. Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and wonderful results.

Letters From The Heart 3

Today we took a road trip back home so mom could visit her friends and patients from her work of 30 years. She didn't seem to mind the car ride, the warm sun was making her sleepy. But I did get a chance to wake her up a bit when I shared my most embarrassing moments growing up. Which I will not share here...

Everyone was so happy to see mom. I can't describe what it was like taking her from person to peron for maybe that last hug, that last goodbye...It brought tears to most of them, including me. Mom teared up too but mostly I could see she was tyring to be strong for her patients who were so worried for her. Mom worked hard all those years and even though some days were very difficult she loved care taking. I could even see in myself why mom was so dedicated, the people there are so sweet. It was a very special day.

So the day is almost over and mom's upstairs resting now.

My thoughts to end today's blog come from:

Psalms 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds.
I know our hearts are breaking but God gives us hope and strength and He comforts us in our time of need.

Goodnight

Letters From the Heart 2

Tonight we went to the Christmas Parade and saw the beautiful lights and at the end they had fireworks. It was so much fun. While we were gone; mom had some excitement, someone let the snake out…she was walking to the bathroom and saw something outside the closet. She thought it was a fake snake until she saw it moving and the tongue sticking out. She said she almost had a heart attack! I couldn't help but laugh when she told me how she got him back in his cage! I guess she thought Lucky the cat could help her but he just laid there on the bed looking at her and listening to her scream. Mom took a bucket and a green cloth hand bag and got Okeedia back safely in his home. I know she didn't think it was funny but she was so cute telling me all about it, without her bottom teeth! She reminded me of Grandma Mulder.

Thought of the day:

Psalms 126:2 Our mouths are filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy.

Letters From The Heart 1

Letters from the Heart

I felt it important to journal my thoughts during this time of change. I hope my words will bring encouragement and provoke something in your own heart.

On November 7, 2008 we found out my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 carcinoma cancer. As a family, we decided to have her move in with us so she would be close to the UW cancer center. The move was hard on mom and her cat; Lucky. Everything changed so quickly, new home, new doctors and results we had to come to terms with. But she seems to be settling in now and getting comfortable in her new home.

It’s been a few weeks since mom started her treatments. She is responding very well to radiation. No side effects except she has been very fatigued. She had her pet scan on November 25, 2008. The news was not good. They found the origin of the cancer; it started in the lungs and the cancer spread to her lymph nodes. He gave her 6-9 months.

The Doctor will be consulting with his team to see what will happen next. He wants to aggressively go after it with radiation and maybe chemo. We will find out more next week.

Mom is scared…she doesn’t want to talk about it much. I can’t imagine knowing that I have 6-9 months left to live. To me there would be an urgency to get my heart right with God. I pray for mom’s salvation and hope that God can use me to help walk her home. We prayed together Wednesday night after hearing the news and as I was asking God for forgiveness and to be the leader of my life; I looked at mom and she was shaking her head yes! It was a beautiful confirmation to me that mom is longing to have a relationship with Jesus.

Sometimes I hear her cry at night and my heart breaks…death can be frightening if you have no hope ... I used to be scared of death and a lot of other things too but I found salvation through Jesus. I am not afraid anymore. I know that this life will pass away so my heart and soul have been preparing for my spiritual journey.

In my quiet moments I think about times in my childhood, some hurtful and I thank God for His forgiveness and how He has shown me how to forgive. People make mistakes, we all make them. I forgive mom and I hope she forgives me too. I know she regrets a lot of things. We had a conversation on November 11, 2008. I felt her words and I saw it in her eyes that she wished she could do a few things over. Mom's compassion and love shined that day. It’s not to late to say your sorry and to make the choice to stop hurting those you love today. I love you mom.

Mom’s friends came to visit a few days after she was here and surprised her with a huge gift of money. People from her work pitched in there vacation hours and they also had a hotdog fundraiser. Mom was so shocked! I wish I had a camera! Mom has great friends.

My brother Randy came to visit on November 24, 2008 and Aunt Sharon came to visit the next day. Aunt Sharon brought nuts for mom’s squirrels. But they haven’t been around. Mom keeps looking out the window for them to show back up.

We celebrated Thanksgiving yesterday with family. We had a house full. It was so nice… thanks to my niece Kimberly who God used to bring us all together. We had a great meal and had some pictures taken and it was so special to be with my family.

Today mom slept until 2:00 p.m. We must have worn her out yesterday with all the company. I was tired too but it was wonderful to be with my family for Thanksgiving.

Today’s letter will end with Romans 12:9-10 & 15-16

Don’t just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. When others are happy, be happy with them. If they are sad, share their sorrow. Live in harmony with each other.