Letters From The Heart 4

I always look forward to Sundays when I have the opportunity to worship with the body of Christ. I am so thankful for my church family. I wanted mom to come to church today but she was not feeling good. I hope she is able to come next week. I am going to ask mom if the church can come over and lay hands on her for healing. I believe that God is the Great Healer and Restorer. We do serve a mighty God!

It was pretty much a quiet day...Mom just finished up her dinner, she didn't eat much, she hasn't ate much lately. She has lost a few pounds, hopefully she doesn't lose anymore.

Monday starts radiation again. Mom meets with the Doctor on Friday this week. My hands are folded in prayer....

Tonight's thoughts come from:

James 5:13-16 Are any among you suffering? They should keep on praying about it. And those who have reason to be thankful should continually sing praises to the Lord. Are any among you sick? They should call on the elders of the church and have them pray over them, anointing them with oil in the name of the Lord. And their prayer offered in faith will heal the sick, and the Lord will make them well. And anyone who has committed sins will be forgiven. Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and wonderful results.

Letters From The Heart 3

Today we took a road trip back home so mom could visit her friends and patients from her work of 30 years. She didn't seem to mind the car ride, the warm sun was making her sleepy. But I did get a chance to wake her up a bit when I shared my most embarrassing moments growing up. Which I will not share here...

Everyone was so happy to see mom. I can't describe what it was like taking her from person to peron for maybe that last hug, that last goodbye...It brought tears to most of them, including me. Mom teared up too but mostly I could see she was tyring to be strong for her patients who were so worried for her. Mom worked hard all those years and even though some days were very difficult she loved care taking. I could even see in myself why mom was so dedicated, the people there are so sweet. It was a very special day.

So the day is almost over and mom's upstairs resting now.

My thoughts to end today's blog come from:

Psalms 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds.
I know our hearts are breaking but God gives us hope and strength and He comforts us in our time of need.

Goodnight

Letters From the Heart 2

Tonight we went to the Christmas Parade and saw the beautiful lights and at the end they had fireworks. It was so much fun. While we were gone; mom had some excitement, someone let the snake out…she was walking to the bathroom and saw something outside the closet. She thought it was a fake snake until she saw it moving and the tongue sticking out. She said she almost had a heart attack! I couldn't help but laugh when she told me how she got him back in his cage! I guess she thought Lucky the cat could help her but he just laid there on the bed looking at her and listening to her scream. Mom took a bucket and a green cloth hand bag and got Okeedia back safely in his home. I know she didn't think it was funny but she was so cute telling me all about it, without her bottom teeth! She reminded me of Grandma Mulder.

Thought of the day:

Psalms 126:2 Our mouths are filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy.

Letters From The Heart 1

Letters from the Heart

I felt it important to journal my thoughts during this time of change. I hope my words will bring encouragement and provoke something in your own heart.

On November 7, 2008 we found out my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 carcinoma cancer. As a family, we decided to have her move in with us so she would be close to the UW cancer center. The move was hard on mom and her cat; Lucky. Everything changed so quickly, new home, new doctors and results we had to come to terms with. But she seems to be settling in now and getting comfortable in her new home.

It’s been a few weeks since mom started her treatments. She is responding very well to radiation. No side effects except she has been very fatigued. She had her pet scan on November 25, 2008. The news was not good. They found the origin of the cancer; it started in the lungs and the cancer spread to her lymph nodes. He gave her 6-9 months.

The Doctor will be consulting with his team to see what will happen next. He wants to aggressively go after it with radiation and maybe chemo. We will find out more next week.

Mom is scared…she doesn’t want to talk about it much. I can’t imagine knowing that I have 6-9 months left to live. To me there would be an urgency to get my heart right with God. I pray for mom’s salvation and hope that God can use me to help walk her home. We prayed together Wednesday night after hearing the news and as I was asking God for forgiveness and to be the leader of my life; I looked at mom and she was shaking her head yes! It was a beautiful confirmation to me that mom is longing to have a relationship with Jesus.

Sometimes I hear her cry at night and my heart breaks…death can be frightening if you have no hope ... I used to be scared of death and a lot of other things too but I found salvation through Jesus. I am not afraid anymore. I know that this life will pass away so my heart and soul have been preparing for my spiritual journey.

In my quiet moments I think about times in my childhood, some hurtful and I thank God for His forgiveness and how He has shown me how to forgive. People make mistakes, we all make them. I forgive mom and I hope she forgives me too. I know she regrets a lot of things. We had a conversation on November 11, 2008. I felt her words and I saw it in her eyes that she wished she could do a few things over. Mom's compassion and love shined that day. It’s not to late to say your sorry and to make the choice to stop hurting those you love today. I love you mom.

Mom’s friends came to visit a few days after she was here and surprised her with a huge gift of money. People from her work pitched in there vacation hours and they also had a hotdog fundraiser. Mom was so shocked! I wish I had a camera! Mom has great friends.

My brother Randy came to visit on November 24, 2008 and Aunt Sharon came to visit the next day. Aunt Sharon brought nuts for mom’s squirrels. But they haven’t been around. Mom keeps looking out the window for them to show back up.

We celebrated Thanksgiving yesterday with family. We had a house full. It was so nice… thanks to my niece Kimberly who God used to bring us all together. We had a great meal and had some pictures taken and it was so special to be with my family.

Today mom slept until 2:00 p.m. We must have worn her out yesterday with all the company. I was tired too but it was wonderful to be with my family for Thanksgiving.

Today’s letter will end with Romans 12:9-10 & 15-16

Don’t just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. When others are happy, be happy with them. If they are sad, share their sorrow. Live in harmony with each other.

14th Wedding Anniversary

It's been a long time!

Bronson, Brinley, Fayth
Dawson & Ethan

Dad, Pam & Me

Ben & Tara

Sister's cracking up!

Thank you to all of you who read my blog and want to read more... I have been getting e-mails and phone calls asking me to update my blog! So...here's my thoughts on worship!

And some updated pictures!

Love ya!

WORSHIP

"But the time is coming and is already here when true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth. The Father is looking for anyone who will worship him that way. For God is spirit, so those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth." John 4:23-24

Well what does that mean? I don't claim to have all the right answers but God knows I'm searching and if your searching too then let's find out together.

Worshipping God can come in many different forms but today let's just talk about worship through music.

God is Spirit, he is present everywhere. It doesn't matter the time or the place, what matters is how we worship our creator. What is our attitude when we come before God? Is it genuine? We are called to give him our praise and adoration with everything we have, with all our heart, mind, soul and strength. It is not God's intention for us just to sing the words, it's so much more...God longs to connect with us in such a deep and intimate way. When it says in Scripture worship in Spirit, well God is spirit and if we are filled with the Holy Spirit by accepting Christ into our hearts than we have a connection with God that is on a different level. The Holy Spirit is the one who guides us into the presence of God.

Now what does it mean to worship in truth? It comes from God's word. The bible is God breathed which means it's all truth and God has given us his word to help us in a our spiritual journey with Him. If you believe in his promises and believe in His love for you... then you know truth!

Worship is to surrender. I know that it's not an easy thing to do! It can be very difficult to humble ourselves before the author of life BUT... oh when we do God in return will bless you! I know for me when I am struggling to give myself over to Him it's usually because I am hanging on to some anger or unforgiveness or guilt, and some time's a little bit of pride. I am learning that before I even spend time in worship I need to pray about all the things I just mentioned.

Worship is not something we only do on a Sunday morning, God intended for us to worship Him Sunday through Saturday. If you are finding it hard to worship Him on Sunday, I would boldly suggest that you may want to think about what I just said. I really believe that we are missing out on valuable time with God when we choose to have our busy life come before Him. I also feel that if you are taking that time during the week than Sunday morning will come easier for you.

Now I know that the style of music on a Sunday morning can also be an issue for some, may I take a moment to share my point of view on this issue. I grew up in a church of almost 1000 people. We were somewhat charismatic. We had expressive worship and a really awesome praise team. When I moved to where I live now, our family joined a very tiny Wesleyan Church with mostly a traditional service. I share that with you because God had to teach me... but also use me to teach other's that worship comes from within, not the style of worship but the heart of worship.

A dear friend recently shared with me that she doesn't think that to worship God you have to raise your hands, bow or kneel to the ground to show him your love. I absolutely agree with that to a certain extent. I believe that you can "quietly" love the Lord but I also believe there should be a time in which you show an ACT of worship as the bible describes over and over again. I found a lot of Scripture on this but look up Philippians 2:10; Romans 14:11 and Isaiah 45:23. I think some people freak out and think we are going to get all crazy, no it's not about getting all weird, it's about stepping forward, sometimes out of our comfort zone to say yes Jesus I love you! and I don't care what people think! It's all about you! It's all about you! What is humbling ourselves anyway? Isn't it putting ourselves out there to be vulnerable? And why not give that "weakness" over to God.

There are a few things I want to express to you:

1. It's not about us. When we give to Him what he deserves we get something back in return.

2. Worship God everyday so when Sunday rolls around you are able to focus on Him instead of the style of music.

3. It's OK to humble yourself before your Maker. Don't look to the left or the right and worry about what other people are thinking. Look up! He's the only One we need approval from.

4. There will come a time when every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. Don't waste your time on earth missing out on the full opportunity to Worship Jesus NOW.

May God continue to richly Bless each and everyone of you!

I look forward to your comments, thoughts and ideas.

God Bless!

I Like To Ride My Bike With God

Click To Play

This is Josh doing the happy dance and singing our favorite song!

100 Mile Bike Ride

Day one getting ready for the first 38 miles!


Day one entering our first out of three tunnels
Peace Out

First night of worship Second day ~ Need Break!


Coming out of the third tunnel We just finished 100 miles!!!! Actually it was 106!

That’s what 10 amazing people and I just completed.

I need to first give God all the praises and glory. He gave us beautiful weather. The forecast was not looking so dry for us but God came through in a big way and gave us great weather conditions.

Day one…. 38 miles.
Day two… 36 miles.
Day three …29 miles.
(Plus a few extra miles for food!)

You may be thinking that’s crazy. I was too! But what I got out of this event is so much bigger than I could have imagined. I witnessed a TEAM of people encouraging and supporting one another; through the pain and the sweat I heard laughter and singing. Although it was physically and mentally challenging the spiritual part of me felt God’s presents everywhere, our surroundings were filled with his beauty.

I knew I was coming to our check points when I saw Josh (speedy gonzales) off his bike doing the happy dance! Josh brought excitement to our team.

Sarah (getter done) is fast. She was right with Josh except on the second day when she decided to ride with me for a while to be my support. I knew she wanted to just getter done but she stayed with me. Sarah taught me that sometimes doing the right thing isn’t always what you want but what you can do for others.

Ondreea (kicks) showed me patience. She had two flat tires. She may have been the last one to come in but she persevered. You know I never heard her complain.

Then we have Sam (stick shift) who showed me that if something’s broke just fix it! He rode over 100 miles with his gears broke. Do you know how many times you have to change gears? Sam found a stick to help keep his gears in place.

Michelle (the rock) brought laughter. Put her together with Stephanie (machine) and you got yourself a comedy show. “Where’s the seat”? “Under his butt I imagine”! I guess you had to be there!

All the leaders received nick names too! Doug (fearless leader) Ann (mom) Lisa (gumby) Aaron (pokey) me (hilltoper) A very special thank you to Doug and Ann who planned and organized this amazing adventure! Thank you for everything you did for us!

I’m ready for next year!

Family Fun in the Dells

We spent the night in Wisconsin Dells at The Copa Cabana Resort and the next day we went to Noah's Ark, compliments of very special family members! We had a great time! Thanks Cheryl & Mark!

Father's Day

We were all smiles on father day, getting dad soaked! As I look at the pictures and remember the fun we had I got to thinking about our relationship that we have with each other.

Have you ever wondered what your relationship should be like with your child? In the bible God has some very specific instruction for both the parent and the child.

Ephesians 6:1-4 Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first of the Ten Commandments that ends with a promise. And this is the promise: if you honor your father and mother, “you will live a long life, full of blessing.” And now a word to you fathers. Don’t make your children angry by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction approved by the Lord.

Sometimes I had to learn this the hard way… but you can’t parent correctly without being in the word and living the word. Here is some scripture that will help guide you.

Deuteronomy 11:18-19 So commit yourselves completely to these words of mine. Tie them around your hands as a reminder, and wear them on your forehead. Teach them to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are away on a journey, when you are lying down and when you are getting up again.

Proverbs 22:6 Teach your children to choose the right path, and when they are older, they will remain upon it.

Exodus 10:2 You will be able to tell wonderful stories to your children and grandchildren about the marvelous things I am doing among the Egyptians to prove that I am LORD.

The best way to teach our children God’s ways is to continually live them out ourselves.

Blessings to you!

New Beginnings

Today marks the day of a new beginning for me. I ended a chapter in my life to begin a new one. Have you ever wanted to start something new and wondered “How do I get a new start?” I believe its starts with the desire to want to change but it’s something we can’t do on our own. It says in 2 Corinthians 5:17 Those who become Christians become new persons. They are not the same anymore, for the old life is gone. A new life has begun! That’s amazing… When you believe in Christ you are re-created as people. You have a new life. A new beginning! And it doesn’t stop there; it says in scripture that God gives us many opportunities to begin anew. Lamentations 3:23 Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each day. God meets us right where we are. We don’t have to wait until we’re perfect that just won’t happen. We don’t have to feel bad about the choices we made yesterday. He loves us and He’s waiting for us to come to Him. One of my favorite verses in the bible is Philippians 1:6 I am sure that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on that day when Christ Jesus comes back again. When we allow God to work in our heart; a transformation occurs deep within us and all around us.

I recently went to a one day seminar with a good friend. On the way there I was telling her that this day marks the day of a new beginning for me. I resigned from my job at the church because God has a bigger plan for me, a plan to go out and reach the lost people in our community. 1 Peter 4:10 Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. I really felt I could not do that sitting behind a desk. I had some reservations about it until God so gently reminded me where he wants me. Our first speaker was Kay and she was from Texas. I was convicted of a lot of things that day but one thing that will always stand out is the way Kay laid her hands on me that day and prayed. She did not know me personally and our only word exchanged was a polite hello.

This is some of what I remember from that prayer:

Heavenly Father how great you are…
Today is the day of a new beginning for Tara…
Lord you are going to use her and she will see people through your eyes.You are preparing her to go out and cultivate the land…

Now that just sent shivers down my spine and I began to cry.
Right there I knew that was God letting me know what I needed to hear.

I was sharing in church last week that is took me a long time to figure out my “gift”. I really thought that I had made such a mess of my life that I could never be worth anything. But as I grew in my walk with the Lord I began to understand what God’s grace and forgiveness meant for me. Ephesians 1:7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace. If today is the day that marks a new beginning for you, I would encourage you to contact me or seek a pastor or someone you know can help you. God Loves You!

Be Blessed!

MY HANDS

My Hands

A few days ago I went on a 20 mile bike ride with some of the teens from our youth group (which we have a new name; Ignite Youth Ministries). As we were biking a chain fell off one of the bikes and got stuck. I attempted to fix it until Doug came along and rescued me. I looked at my hands and saw a lot of grease from the chain but had to ignore it until I was home to wash it off.

When I returned home I soaked my hands in warm soapy water. I took a good look at my hands. The grease tainted the creases in my hands and was not coming off as easily as I had wished.

As I gazed at my hands I was reminded of two things:

1. The grease reminded me of my sin. It’s black, it’s dirty and it’s hard to get off. So many times in my life I have failed God. My heart was black; and temptation stuck to me like the grease on my hands. I scrubbed and scrubbed but the grease would not come off completely. Will I ever be able to stop sinning?

Hebrews 12:1-3 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Sin will always be there like the grease that was stuck to my hands and just like washing my hands with soap and water to keep them clean during the day; I need to be consistent in prayer, read my bible, go to church, participate in Godly activities, and to be persistent in my walk with Christ.

2. My second thought I had was what my hands have done for me. As a baby I grasped the blanket my mom had wrapped around me and held her fingers for comfort. As a child I held my fathers hand as he held mine along the way. I touched my dad’s mustache in surprise! I remember using my hands to talk on my dad’s CB in his truck. As a teen I used my hands to dry the tears off my face after losing my best friend. At eighteen I used my hands to hold my son Nicholas for the first time. At twenty I placed my hands in my husbands to show my love and commitment to him. I used my hands to love, nurture, bath, feed and care for my three children. I used my hands to say goodbye to my son Jonathan. I have used my hands to softly touch a loved one on the back to reassure them that it’s going to be ok. I have used my hands to write a letter to someone who needed to hear about hope. I have used my hands to dial the phone to get in touch with an old friend.


We use our hands all the time….

To pray
To lift our hands to the Lord
To worship
To clap our hands
To take pictures
To hold a warm cup of tea
To shake hands with someone you just met
To hold the leash as you walk your dog
To send an e-mail
To give a high -5
To read a good book like the BIBLE
To fix something
To gently touch
To create art

Sometimes we choose to use are hands for bad…

To hurt
To hit
To push
To bring a “drink” to our mouth
To take a puff off a cigarette
To use drugs
To break
To kill
To rape

Who may ascend the hill of the LORD ?
Who may stand in his holy place?
He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
who does not lift up his soul to an idol
or swear by what is false.
He will receive blessing from the LORD
and vindication from God his Savior.
Psalms 24:3-5

So take a good long look at your hands and ask yourself
"How do I use my hands?"

Please take the time to share your comment or testimony by clicking on the comment link below. Thank you!

Family

The pictures above were taken this summer at our house. We had a very nice visit with our family.

Ethan the Baker!

Dawson in his Cub Scout uniform.

My sister and I saw Hollywood Sings at the Fireside Theater.


My favorite picture of my mother and me.

The kids riding the 4 wheeler at Grandpa's house!

Cesar

On March 3rd we had a new addition come into our home. His name is Cesar!!! We love him!! He has a lot of friends already.