Letters from the Heart
I felt it important to journal my thoughts during this time of change. I hope my words will bring encouragement and provoke something in your own heart.
On November 7, 2008 we found out my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 carcinoma cancer. As a family, we decided to have her move in with us so she would be close to the UW cancer center. The move was hard on mom and her cat; Lucky. Everything changed so quickly, new home, new doctors and results we had to come to terms with. But she seems to be settling in now and getting comfortable in her new home.
It’s been a few weeks since mom started her treatments. She is responding very well to radiation. No side effects except she has been very fatigued. She had her pet scan on November 25, 2008. The news was not good. They found the origin of the cancer; it started in the lungs and the cancer spread to her lymph nodes. He gave her 6-9 months.
The Doctor will be consulting with his team to see what will happen next. He wants to aggressively go after it with radiation and maybe chemo. We will find out more next week.
Mom is scared…she doesn’t want to talk about it much. I can’t imagine knowing that I have 6-9 months left to live. To me there would be an urgency to get my heart right with God. I pray for mom’s salvation and hope that God can use me to help walk her home. We prayed together Wednesday night after hearing the news and as I was asking God for forgiveness and to be the leader of my life; I looked at mom and she was shaking her head yes! It was a beautiful confirmation to me that mom is longing to have a relationship with Jesus.
Sometimes I hear her cry at night and my heart breaks…death can be frightening if you have no hope ... I used to be scared of death and a lot of other things too but I found salvation through Jesus. I am not afraid anymore. I know that this life will pass away so my heart and soul have been preparing for my spiritual journey.
In my quiet moments I think about times in my childhood, some hurtful and I thank God for His forgiveness and how He has shown me how to forgive. People make mistakes, we all make them. I forgive mom and I hope she forgives me too. I know she regrets a lot of things. We had a conversation on November 11, 2008. I felt her words and I saw it in her eyes that she wished she could do a few things over. Mom's compassion and love shined that day. It’s not to late to say your sorry and to make the choice to stop hurting those you love today. I love you mom.
Mom’s friends came to visit a few days after she was here and surprised her with a huge gift of money. People from her work pitched in there vacation hours and they also had a hotdog fundraiser. Mom was so shocked! I wish I had a camera! Mom has great friends.
My brother Randy came to visit on November 24, 2008 and Aunt Sharon came to visit the next day. Aunt Sharon brought nuts for mom’s squirrels. But they haven’t been around. Mom keeps looking out the window for them to show back up.
We celebrated Thanksgiving yesterday with family. We had a house full. It was so nice… thanks to my niece Kimberly who God used to bring us all together. We had a great meal and had some pictures taken and it was so special to be with my family.
Today mom slept until 2:00 p.m. We must have worn her out yesterday with all the company. I was tired too but it was wonderful to be with my family for Thanksgiving.
Today’s letter will end with Romans 12:9-10 & 15-16
Don’t just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. When others are happy, be happy with them. If they are sad, share their sorrow. Live in harmony with each other.
I felt it important to journal my thoughts during this time of change. I hope my words will bring encouragement and provoke something in your own heart.
On November 7, 2008 we found out my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 carcinoma cancer. As a family, we decided to have her move in with us so she would be close to the UW cancer center. The move was hard on mom and her cat; Lucky. Everything changed so quickly, new home, new doctors and results we had to come to terms with. But she seems to be settling in now and getting comfortable in her new home.
It’s been a few weeks since mom started her treatments. She is responding very well to radiation. No side effects except she has been very fatigued. She had her pet scan on November 25, 2008. The news was not good. They found the origin of the cancer; it started in the lungs and the cancer spread to her lymph nodes. He gave her 6-9 months.
The Doctor will be consulting with his team to see what will happen next. He wants to aggressively go after it with radiation and maybe chemo. We will find out more next week.
Mom is scared…she doesn’t want to talk about it much. I can’t imagine knowing that I have 6-9 months left to live. To me there would be an urgency to get my heart right with God. I pray for mom’s salvation and hope that God can use me to help walk her home. We prayed together Wednesday night after hearing the news and as I was asking God for forgiveness and to be the leader of my life; I looked at mom and she was shaking her head yes! It was a beautiful confirmation to me that mom is longing to have a relationship with Jesus.
Sometimes I hear her cry at night and my heart breaks…death can be frightening if you have no hope ... I used to be scared of death and a lot of other things too but I found salvation through Jesus. I am not afraid anymore. I know that this life will pass away so my heart and soul have been preparing for my spiritual journey.
In my quiet moments I think about times in my childhood, some hurtful and I thank God for His forgiveness and how He has shown me how to forgive. People make mistakes, we all make them. I forgive mom and I hope she forgives me too. I know she regrets a lot of things. We had a conversation on November 11, 2008. I felt her words and I saw it in her eyes that she wished she could do a few things over. Mom's compassion and love shined that day. It’s not to late to say your sorry and to make the choice to stop hurting those you love today. I love you mom.
Mom’s friends came to visit a few days after she was here and surprised her with a huge gift of money. People from her work pitched in there vacation hours and they also had a hotdog fundraiser. Mom was so shocked! I wish I had a camera! Mom has great friends.
My brother Randy came to visit on November 24, 2008 and Aunt Sharon came to visit the next day. Aunt Sharon brought nuts for mom’s squirrels. But they haven’t been around. Mom keeps looking out the window for them to show back up.
We celebrated Thanksgiving yesterday with family. We had a house full. It was so nice… thanks to my niece Kimberly who God used to bring us all together. We had a great meal and had some pictures taken and it was so special to be with my family.
Today mom slept until 2:00 p.m. We must have worn her out yesterday with all the company. I was tired too but it was wonderful to be with my family for Thanksgiving.
Today’s letter will end with Romans 12:9-10 & 15-16
Don’t just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. When others are happy, be happy with them. If they are sad, share their sorrow. Live in harmony with each other.
2 comments:
Well I guess the first time I wrote didn't take. Im happy that your thanksgiving was good. I enjoyed looking at the pictures plus i copied one of mary&I together. To bad Randy didn't come. Those squirrels will show up yet don't stop looking out the window don't forget to get one of the kids to feed them the nuts. I love you Mary! Your baby sister Sharon
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