One Year

I can't believe it has been one year since we found out mom had cancer. She moved to WR to come live with us and to receive her treatments here. As I read through my older post, I think of the journey mom has walked; with her family along side of her. Even though this is not a road that one would like to travel, mom has found a way to walk it in Christ Jesus.


Mom found love in a time of feeling unloved.

Mom found hope in a time of despair.

Mom found acceptance in a time of not understanding.

Mom found comfort in a time of uneasiness.

Mom found peace in a a time of pain.

Mom found strength in a time of weakness.

Mom found courage in a time of fear.

Mom found restoration in a time of bleakness.

Mom found faith in a time of need.

Mom found Jesus!





Psalm 23
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters,

He restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

Chemo Once Again

Greetings!

Mom started chemo again last week. Just like last time, her treatments will be every three weeks and blood work every week. I know it was a disappointment to find out that mom's cancer is back and active. We can't explain why this may have happened. I can examine it to the best of my knowledge but ultimately it comes down to my faith. As a christian it's all or nothing, I need to put all my trust in the Lord even when I don't understand. This doesn't mean I don't have emotions; just that I can go to a place of peace. I don't fear what this world can do to me, I don't fear that mom has cancer because she has Jesus.

I love this scripture: Matthew 10:28 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.

So mom's body may die of lung cancer...but her spirit will live for all of eternity. That is exciting stuff!

Now...Jesus spoke of something very important in that scripture,"be afraid of the One who can destroy both body and soul in hell." He alone, God alone determines our destiny. My life is in His hands. To go on in verse 32 it says "whoever acknowledges me before men, I will acknowledge him before my Father in heaven." Verse 33 says "But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven."

So I have to ask myself: Am I ashamed of my relationship with Jesus? Do I follow Christ with my whole heart? Am I obedient to His will, His Word, His way? Do I deny Jesus in His full glory? Do I acknowledge Him? Do I acknowledge Him?..........

CT & Pet Scan Results

Last weeks ct scan showed that there was no change except in the lower right lung which showed that the "spot" that was once thin is now solid. A tiny bit of growth. The doctor wanted to have mom get a pet scan taken to show more accurate results. We received those results today and it showed that there is activity in the lower right lung and in the pelvic area, which means the cancer is active and growing. They have given mom a few options, she can either take chemo again or just monitor it over the coarse of time or the third option not recommended is for her to do radiation if approved. We obviously were sadden by this news...It was like getting the news all over again. Mom shared that she has been putting her trust in God and she doesn't understand why He just doesn't heal her. It's not that God can't heal her, He could if He wants to...But His plan is better then ours. No matter what, His plan is always better even through suffering. I see so many wonderful things that have come out of this illness. Salvation for mom, healing of hearts, family drawing near, more time with mom and so much more...I praise God. I am not saying that this experience hasn't been difficult, it has but I also have witness the power of God at work and He deserves the glory for that. What ever challenges we face whether for mom, for me, for you, we need to be ready and prepared for what will happen after this earthy body passes. God says in His word that He comes for the one who is obedient to His commands not just the one who believes, He is looking for the one who will pick up their cross and carry it for Jesus.

Luke 9:23:27 Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self? If anyone is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels. I tell you the truth, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the kingdom of God."

To me this Scripture is clear; to follow Jesus means to be completely dedicated, a willingness of obedience and selflessness. And daily saying what can I do for you Lord. Jesus talks about whoever loses his life for me in all four gospels and in two of them more than once. No other saying of Jesus is given so much emphases. If we set aside our own desires we will gain so much more through the Son of Man. One who is more concerned with what please himself than what pleases Christ will have no place in the Kingdom of Heaven. The words are Cristal clear.

I pray that God would give you understanding to His truth. God Bless






Pictures of mom, Pam and Aunt Sharon fishing over at Todd's

CT Scan

Mom had a CT scan today and had an allergic reaction. They said after so many, your body can eventually have a bad reaction. They put mom in the ER and pumped her up with medicine. She has to take three different meds for the next few days. When she came out in the waiting room, I knew right away something was wrong. Her eyes were red, watery and swollen, her hands were red and swollen and all over her body she had red blotches that she said itched. She is doing fine now, her hands are still a little puffed up but she will be fine. She is going in tomorrow for a B12 shot so she will be seen then. I have noticed she has been coughing more and once in a while her back seems to bother her. She's been cooking in the kitchen a few times, that's been nice. Yesterday she cut some vines off her morning glory's, they were growing all the way up my roof and around the gutters. Her flower and vegetable garden did so well this year. Mom is so close to being done reading the whole bible...she has a few more books left in the old testament before she completes one of her goals. I am so very very proud of her. She is so sweet.

Mom is stronger in her walk and has great faith. She knows that the Lord will take care of her because she knows His promise.

Deuteronomy 31:6
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Word of God Speak

God spoke to me the night of Tuesday July 7, 2009


I always pray for the Holy Spirit to occupy the space in my heart, to fill it up to the full measure so I can be used for God’s glory, to build up the name of Jesus and to help those which are lost. I want to be more in tuned with the leading of the Holy Spirit, not my words or actions but His. As I am developing in this area I‘ve had a few growing pains, mostly my Lord disciplining me so I can become more like Him. He disciplines because He loves us, I think He loves me A LOT!

The bible tells us we will be persecuted for our faith. It doesn’t say “if” it says “when” So just recently my motives were questioned. Ben and I stayed up late to pray and sometime after falling asleep I heard Jesus say Luke 2:13. I woke up and politely asked Jesus to remind me in the morning. He kept me up all night saying Luke 2:13. I think He did this so many times because He knows I’m forgetful. I got up a little before 8 am. And opened my bible to Luke 2:13 and 13 runs into 14.

“Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom His favor rest”

The Lord told me, that I was praising Him to the Highest so Tara; have peace. I have found favor with you. It was exactly what I needed to hear from God. It had everything to do with what I was going through. My God is a GREAT God! And so faithful!

God spoke to me clearly. He also told me to pray for those who questioned my motives. Though they accuse me of doing wrong, they will see my good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.

Talk to God. He will talk to you… And dont forget to Listen……

MJ'S Garden

Today we had our annual Mulder Family Reunion! A day of gathering that I am very thankful for. I had so many people come up and ask me for an update on my blog so here is goes in fast version:

Mom wasn't feeling so well in late June, she was stuck with sores in her mouth and on the tips of her fingers and some soreness on the bottom of her feet. She was also suffering with severe heartburn and was not able to eat or drink anything. She came down with a high grade fever so I ended up bringing her to the ER where they admitted her with what they first thought to be pneumonia but it turned out to be bronchitis. She was in for four days. Sometime after leaving the hospital she had an allergic reaction to some medicine and her hands swelled up so bad they almost busted open. They gave her prednisone and that helped and made her hyper! When she went in the following Wednesday for her lab work they wanted mom to stay for fluids and on the 9th of July she need to have a blood transfusion, her hemoglobin was at 7.

She made a decision on July 16th that she would stop the chemo and place everything in Gods hands. Psalm 91:2 I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." I absolutely believe that God has allowed mom to spend more time with us. I pray that I can make each day count. We were all very blessed this reunion to have her with us.

The sores are gone, the heartburn is away and she is feeling much better. Her hemoglobin is back to normal. PRAISE GOD! I took these photos of mom in her garden on July 16, 2009.

One Question

Who do you want to live for; God or the world?

It can’t be both. Revelation 3:15-16 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.
Think about it…

_To be continued_

New Pill

It has been very difficult to blog when the weather has been so nice! I want to update you on mom. Last week she started a new chemo pill. This is a clinical trail, she is 1 out of 150 people testing this new pill. It has been one week and so far so good! Her blood work came back great today and she has had no side effects.

Mom planted her garden and it's looking great, her radishes are coming up already. It has been a beautiful sight watching her go outside and breath in the fresh air! To see her smiling and enjoying the warm weather has been special for both of us.

Lucky has been enjoying the good weather too, as he is always trying to get outside now!

I praise God that He has healed my mother and I would praise Him even if that wasn't the outcome. Our life is literally in His hands. We have no control even if we tried. It's an awesome feeling to give your life over to Him completely. What peace and joy He brings. I was not made for this world but for eternity and when I came to understand that my purpose was not for the here and now but for eternity; God began to change my heart. This world is a vapor, a flash before our eyes...gone in a blink! This moment we have here on earth determines our everlasting future with Jesus. (or without Him) What we do now in this very short time matters. We can either summit on our own accord or that will be done for us on the day Christ returns.

Romans 14:11 It is written:
'As surely as I live,' says the Lord,
'every knee will bow before me;
every tongue will confess to God that Jesus Christ is Lord.'

I pray that you would decide today, right now to cling to what is good, our Lord and Savior Jesus. Allow God to begin a good work in you for His Kingdom, for His purpose, for His glory.

Mom's Surprise Birthday Party

Thanks to everyone who attended moms surprise birthday party and everyone who wished her well for her birthday. It was a very special day!

As I was planning for this party, I was thinking it would probably be her last birthday... I wanted to give everyone a chance to spend time with her and shower her with love. But not only did we celebrate her life; but we gave thanks and honor to the Father for His many blessings and His healing in my mother’s life. It was truly a day to rejoice! I don’t know how many more birthdays mom will celebrate here on earth but I do know for now God has granted us more time together! Thank you Jesus!

Jeremiah 17:7 Blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence

I WILL REJOICE

I will rejoice in the Lord my God, for His LOVE endures forever and He is faithful! I will praise you Lord for Your healing touch on my mother’s life. I will praise You Lord for your promises, I will praise You Lord for Your Mighty Hand and Your outstretched arm, I will praise You Lord because You are the One and Only True God and I want to serve you all the days of my life. I will praise you God because You are the Miracle Worker in so many ways, I will lift my hands to the heaven because of the joy You bring into my life, I will bow before You because You are worthy of my love and adoration, I will lay prostrate on Your Holy ground because of Your compassion and Your mercy and Your Grace. My God is a great and awesome God and I stand in awe of YOU, LORD!


Mom’s cancer decreased by 80-90%
Praise The Lord Oh My Soul!!!!!

To put it into perspective, mom’s cancer in her right lung was the size of a walnut; it’s now smaller then a pea. And Dr. K said that part may even be just scar tissue.

There is NO cancer found in her lymph nodes! All gone, not a trace to be found!

God does answer prayer…in our obedience to Him. I stand to testify that God hears our prayers and can perform such miracles. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.


As I think about my relationship with Jesus, how He has worked in my life; transformed me from the inside out. I could not imagine going through this life without Him. He gives me my strength and my hope. Actually I do remember a time without Him, it was miserable, depressing, I was lost. No Hope! Can you imagine having NO HOPE…I can’t even go there. I know I can get through anything because God has revealed Himself to me and His word is truth.

I pray that mom will continue to live her life for her Savoir. I pray that her faith will grow and produce nutritious fruit. I pray that she will grow in wisdom and knowledge, for the Spirit to be strong in her and that she will seek God in every part of her life. I look forward to her continued transformation. I pray that we all understand that what we do here on earth will determine our future. I pray that we take our role as Christians seriously. To take up the cross and follow Jesus no matter what the cost. He never said it would be easy only worth it!

Thank you for your prayers!

Acts 1:8 But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.

Zephaniah 3:17 The LORD your God is with you,
He is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
He will quiet you with his love,
He will rejoice over you with singing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZUTt8XINPY&feature=channel_page

Give Him A Chance

Last chemo treatment! Mom received her last chemo treatment yesterday, April 8, 2009. She will have her lab, CT, bone scan and MRI on the 22nd to determine what is happening in her body. This is always a nervous time for us. We are praying for God’s healing touch but also trust that mom’s life is in His hands. Mom seems to be in good spirits and she is looking forward to the warmer months ahead.

Our family just recently went on vacation to visit family in Iowa so Pam came to spend time with mom and apparently they did a lot of shopping!!! And they went to the movies and had a great time together.

I love that we are into the Easter celebration season. This is what our salvation is all about. We have a Father who loves us so much that he sent His only Son for us. Jesus came and lived a perfect life, without Sin but yet He took our sin, our shame and was crucified so we could have eternal life.

A short time ago I was questioned about my faith and why God is worthy of my submission and obedience to Him. It was a great conversation, but it got me thinking… I am a follower of Jesus and as a follower He deserves all of me. As Christians I think we may fall short in the time we give Him, what’s due Him. We can’t just say we are Christians without action. If we are not spending time EVERYDAY in God’s presence we are saying and doing the same thing people who don’t have a relationship with Him. We are showing God that He is not worthy of our time. Way too often we think it’s about ourselves and what rights we have but in truth we are nothing without God. God is worthy of my Praise and Worship and Why? His word, the bible tells us unmistakably that He is Worthy. You can also read it in a book “Worship Is…What?” By Tom Kraeuter.

God is worthy of our worship because:

1. He is God ~ Psalm 95:7
2. He Commands it ~ Psalm 148: 1:3 & John 4:23:24
3. He is Worthy ~ Psalm 18:3
4. For His Faithfulness ~ Psalm 100:5
5. For His Love ~ 2 Chronicles 20:21
6. For His Greatness ~ Psalm 95:3
7. For His Salvation ~ Psalm 27:1
8. For His Mighty Deeds ~ Psalm 145:4-6
9. For His Holiness ~ Psalm 99:3,5
10. For His Creation ~ Rev. 4:11
11. For His Power ~ Rev. 11:17
12. For His Miracles ~ Matthew 9:8

I desire to have a more intimate and deeper relationship with Jesus. There is hope in Him. He gave us life and breath…I don’t claim to know it all and God is still changing me and molding me and I don’t want to stay the same, I hunger and thirst for more of Him in my life. I have had a lot of suffering in my life…I had a mother who was an alcoholic, a father an over the road truck driver, I was abandon by my family so as a teen I spent most of my time in foster homes, shelter homes, halfway houses, group homes, jail, treatment centers for drugs. I was raped countless times, placed a baby up for adoption, lost a baby 4 years ago…my mother has a critical illness…the list can go on…What I hope that you get from my short story is that in all that brokenness and hurt, God healed me and gave me an everlasting future with Him. He spoke truth and life back into me. He can and will work in your life, ask seek knock and the door shall be open to you.

I know some of you are going through things I am not and maybe I will never encounter what you are facing. Maybe you are angry and don’t understand why a God so amazing would ever let anything like that happen to you or maybe you don’t believe in Him at all. There’s a lot of questions to be answered, open His bible…He’s available to you wherever your at. Give Him a chance to help you, what can it hurt?

For some reason I can't get the link to work by just clicking on it, please copy and paste into your address bar. It's a beautiful song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bT-TG79htPg

Spiritual Blessings

Last Wednesday mom received her third chemo treatment. She now has to get a shot after every treatment to help with her white blood count. Chemo has taken a toll on her body, the pasted few days her bones have been aching, almost like she needs to get them oiled. It has been difficult to move. I thought it would help for her to get some fresh air so we brought her to feed the ducks yesterday. She really liked that! We’ve had a lot of company, Mike, Shanna, Randy and Charmaine came to visit on Thursday.

Please keep mom in your prayers…she needs us to be intercessors on her behalf.

Back in July of 2007 our Pastor preached a message on a life that pleases God. I have a desire to live a life that pleases God, really pleases God and I understand now that I need to pray daily for spiritual blessings. I believe my mom wants that too but we need to be in prayer about these things:

•Pray For Spiritual Hunger Psalm 119:103 3 How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!

•Pray For A Burden Jeremiah 20:9 But if I say, "I will not mention him or speak any more in his name," his word is in my heart like a fire,a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.

•Pray For Opportunities 1 Corinthians 4:9-10 For it seems to me that God has put us apostles on display at the end of the procession, like men condemned to die in the arena. We have been made a spectacle to the whole universe, to angels as well as to men. We are fools for Christ, but you are so wise in Christ! We are weak, but you are strong! You are honored, we are dishonored!

•Pray For Courage Acts 4:29 Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness.

•Pray For Vision 2 Kings 6:17 And Elisha prayed, "O LORD, open his eyes so he may see." Then the LORD opened the servant's eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.

Thank you for uniting with me to pray for my mother, may God show His favor on you.

Come Back To Me

The nurse called last week to share with mom that she has a low white blood count, Neutropenia. She needs to be very careful not to be around anyone sick; which is hard to do right now, so many people are sick. Mom has a sinus infection that she is trying to fight as well.

We had a lot of visitors in the last week. Cindy and Kathy; mom’s friends from work came on Friday and presented her with a beautiful gift. Mom received The Above and Beyond Regional Winner along with The Above and Beyond Certificate of Achievement Award and a check. Mom has been so blessed by her place of employment. I have been so amazed with them myself; I just can’t believe all the wonderful things everyone has done for mom. It’s unbelievable! Tracie made a beautiful tribute for her too! Thank you! Thank you!

My sister Pam and her husband Sheldon showed up for a surprise visit on Saturday…Even I was shocked! I usually know everything! Ha Ha

Today…my sister Connie came with her gang…AND my brother Mike will be visiting tomorrow. SO we have been very busy with company!

Last week mom had been struggling, to me she seemed depressed. Through her tears and my tears I found out she hadn’t been in God’s word. It had been over a week since she read the bible and in her words she felt like she was rotting away. The term rotting away means to decay, to decompose…that’s what satan wants but…

God wants us to be alive in Him. There is life in Christ! A freedom…We need to stay active for God, serving the Lord with spiritual fervor, passion and eagerness. We all fall short. I have been in that position too many times and prefer not to go backwards again and when I don’t give God the time he deserves because He is worthy of my time, I feel it, He convicts me of my sin. God has revealed to me that I need to submit, be humble and repent.

Here’s some scripture that will help you come back to Him, He’s waiting…

Romans 3:23-24 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus

Romans 12:12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer

Ezekiel 37:23 They will no longer defile themselves with their idols and vile images or with any of their offenses, for I will save them from all their sinful backsliding, and I will cleanse them. They will be my people, and I will be their God.

Matthew 26:41 Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.


1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

Mom's reading again! Praise God!

Saving Grace

Mom's New Hair Dew


On February 25th, mom had her second chemo treatment. We weren’t really sure if they were going to give her the chemo due to the “flu” symptoms she was experiencing. But she did get to stay for the 6 hour day at the cancer center.

Mom continued to be ill for the next 5 days…she is feeling better today and energized…she cleaned her room, dusted and vacuumed and even washed her bed sheets and covers. She’s taking a nap now!

On February 26th mom asked me to shave the rest of her hair off…It had been falling out fast and hurting in the process. It was very surreal. It was my hands, my shaver that was taking the rest of my mom’s dignity. It was also my hands that were serving my mom. Mom was more beautiful to me in that moment then she had ever been in my whole life…

The Lord gives and takes away. Hair taken away…Holy Spirit given…The road marked with suffering, though there’s pain in the offering…Blessed Be Thy Name…

I hold on to the truth, the truth that Christ Jesus will be the source of my mom’s comfort and strength and He's is mine too.

Worship is a large part of my intimacy with my Jesus and through that He touches me. Last week, Sunday and today has been so emotional. As I sing and praise Him; I am saturated in tears. God will take my mother home someday but I will continue to pour my love on Him and I will open my arms in praise because of His tender mercies and I will lift my eyes to Him in thanksgiving because He never breaks a promise and His words says:


John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

It’s not too late to have salvation, God meets us right where were at, it doesn’t matter what we’ve done. He would of never came to die for us if it was to late and believe me I deserve to rot in hell but God extended His grace on me and He can for you too. Say this prayer with me:

Heavenly Father, I have lived my life for myself. I wanted control, I wanted to do things my way and in my time and without help but Father I realize I don’t have control, I don’t want things my way and I want your help. Please forgive me for I have sinned against You and I have wronged You so many times. I’m sorry. I understand that You sent your only Son Jesus for me and He died for me and He rose again for me. Thank you for your forgiveness. Please help me to change my life for you, help me to be obedient, help me in the way I think and how I act. I need You. I want You to be the leader of my life. In Jesus Name, Amen

If you said that prayer, WELCOME to the family. You are now a child of God. A whole new life awaits you, to learn, to grow, to be transformed for our Savior. Please contact me or someone who has a strong relationship with the Lord so they can help disciple you on your new journey.
Praise The Lord!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Dca0P7w9ZQ
Give Me Jesus

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opMkgyfps4c&feature=channel_page
Pour My Love

Loss of Hair

This morning mom came down stairs in a panic…her hair was coming out by the handfuls. She had to take a few moments to let the tears fall. Even as I witnessed mom upset; her compassion shinned through as she talked about Aunt Anne and her cancer, wishing she could have done more for her.

Mom cheered up when Mike, Jackie, Lexi and Trent came to visit. Mike shared a few brain teasers with us and made everyone laugh. He tripped all of us a time or two! Lexi and Trent are so cute! Jackie you’re a good mommy!

Tonight mom got a call from her friend Tracy, she has a surprised for mom, I can’t wait to share it you! I also had an opportunity to talk to her. Both of her parents have passed away. It always amazes me how God works; he puts people in our path that have experienced the same thing or close to it. Look for ways to share. It’s so important to be encouraged by others and prayer is powerful, we all need prayer.

Mom has her second chemo treatment tomorrow…

Matthew 18:20 Where two or more are gathered together because they are mine, I am there among them.

Humility

What a day…

A little crazy, a little backwards…anyway that’s what I was doing when I got stuck in the snow going reverse in a friend’s long and winding driveway at night.

So it’s dark and it just freshly snowed and it was the first time I was even in their driveway but I thought I could do it. Well…to my humility I needed to be rescued.

I got to thinking on the way home; I am a good driver. As a matter of fact I can drive in reverse pretty good! Not to boast, really! I was mortified.

So I’m talking to God on the way home...and He showed me what I needed. Sometimes we’ve done something so many times that we think we can do it well and without help but without God we are nothing. The fact that it was at night reminds me that in the darkness we can stumble and fall. Jesus is the light. I think God intended for me to get stuck to show me that I need to take the more humble road. When we are humble; we don’t have selfish motives; there’s no room for conceit or pride. Humility gives us an opportunity to grow.

John 8:12 "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life

Romans 1-2 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.


So you think that would be it today but no…we had a gas leak in one of our furnaces and about 2 hours later the gas guy knocked at our door to tell us our meter outside had a break. So we had the windows open and the heat shut off while it was being fixed. Thank you Jesus for keeping us safe.

The best part of our day was traveling to Tracy’s baby shower that was put on by Aunt Sharon and Nicole. It was really nice, they did a wonderful job!

Mom is doing good…her hair has started to fall out due to chemo. Her scalp is tender and hurts to the touch. She picked out a beautiful wig. It looks really nice. I know that losing her hair has been difficult. I wanted to shave my head in support but mom was not in agreement. Wouldn’t that be fun though if we all shaved our heads for her?

So the day is finally over…Goodnight!

Pictures at the baby shower

Pictures taken February 11, 2009

Endurance

Endurance

It’s easy to give up and sometimes temptation gets the best of us but hopefully we hold on to what is true and we never get tired of doing good and what is right in God’s sight.
As I watch my mother go through cancer and chemo where her body is failing her, I pray for her to press on in her faith. I see her body worn out and weary with exhaustion and I know that when your body is weak it’s more difficult to be spiritually strong. So I pray for endurance. I pray for my mother and for our family to stand on God’s word, to seek His promises and speak out His truth. I pray that our thoughts will be of one sound and one mind. I understand that we will have challenging days, already we have faced so many. But let us continue to give praise to our Father! My request as you pray for mom is that you pray for me too; first as a daughter of the King and second as a daughter of a woman whom in these last few months I’ve come to admire; her inner strength and beauty has been a gift to me.

When I wake in the morning and when I go to sleep I have been asking God “What can I do to change for you Lord?” If I am diligent in my obedience to God; that will help me as a Christian, wife, mother, daughter, friend, a member of a great church, a leader, a neighbor and so on…If I endure... then I will be encouraged to carry on, sometimes through suffering but there is a blessing when our faith remains strong. So what ever you are going through, what ever you are facing, whatever seems to unbearable, remember that God gives you the strength to endure. Suffering allows God to work in us.

It’s been 4 days since mom’s first chemo treatment. She’s having some minor side effects but for the most part she is doing well. Will you stand firm with me for healing over my mom and for endurance in her spiritual walk with Jesus. Thank you and bless you!

Thank you for your comments, e-mails and letters. Something so simple means so much to mom.

Please listen to this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaHmiFaX_pk&feature=channel_page

Galatians 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
1 Peter 4:13 But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.
Hebrews 3:14 We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first
James 1:12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

First Day of Chemo

Today was mom’s first day of chemo…

I pray for a healing touch from our heavenly Father, just one touch of His glory to rain down upon His child. I thank God for His Sovereignty. God has total control over His creation. He knows all things…He knows my mothers weaknesses and will make her stronger in her obedience to Him. I pray that as her body is fragile her spirit is strong in the name of Jesus. I don’t questions God’s plan in my mom’s illness, what I want to know is how can I glorify God through this experience. I see His goodness and I can’t help but feel blessed, like today when I was praying for mom at the cancer center and a heard a sweet soft voice like and angel say “Yes Jesus” and I felt the power of Jesus and the room was filled with His Spirit. When we finished praying I looked over to see the nurse on her knees holding mom’s hand. It was such a tender moment and I thank God for giving us the gift of new friendships.

Mom and I shared our devotional and bible time as she was receiving her treatment, may the truth of His words and the spirit in which I spoke bring freedom to those who were listening, whether that have been the people to the left or right or those working in the facility. May the seeds be planted!

Mom is feeling pretty good, she is a little light headed and dizzy but she doesn’t feel nauseous. Praise the Lord!

Mom tried on some wigs as she was waiting, when I walk in I had to do a double take and then I realized it was mom. My heart breaks for her because I know that this will probably be the most difficult for her. I will be setting up an appointment for her to get a fitted wig, the nurse told us in about 2 weeks her hair will start falling out and it will come out in large amounts.

Everyone at the cancer center is so nice…they made mom feel better.

Mom has God’s mighty power to help her through this, miracles happen to those who believe!

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Isaiah 40:29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Ephesians 6:10-12 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Surgery

Tomorrow morning mom will have her surgery. She will have a port placed under her skin in order to put the chemo in and other medicines and even get her blood drawn.

If you would like to check out what procedure, go to: http://www.portadvantage.com/

The cancer center wanted to start her on chemo this Friday, but mom is leaving to go back home to get her taxes done and lucky for Lucky; he is going to get a hair cut! So they are calling us tomorrow to set up her first chemo therapy treatment.

I know that this time will be a testimony of faith and trust in Jesus. She will have to rely on Him for strength, courage, rest and healing. I pray that this will be a time where mom will be able to draw even closer to Him and that her walk will become more intimate. (please listen to link)

1 Peter 4:13 But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.

James 1:12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

Last Saturday Aunt Sharon brought mom to see Todd, Shirley and Jaden. Here are some pictures fro her visit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoaH0I9UwLIbe.com/watch?v=aoaH0I9UwLI

Friends

Here are some pictures from mom's Christmas /Retirement party

God blesses us with friendships and relationsips. This is what God promises us when we make healthy fellowship a priortiy.

1 John 1:5-7 This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

The Journey

The journey…

Yesterday mom found out her cancer spread in her right lung, 50% bigger from her last pet scan taken at the end of November. Not the news we were hoping for…Mom thought for sure God had healed her from lung cancer. She prays everyday for healing. I felt sad for her, she had such high hopes. As a Christian I believe in God’s great healing power. I also believe in God’s will not mine. I know this is not great news but I see that God has already healed my mother spiritually. And I praise God for His tender mercy.

Mom had to get a MRI done today, praying that the cancer has not gone to the brain.

She decided to start chemo; first she’ll meet with a surgeon next week to put a port under her skin so she doesn’t have to keep getting poked and prodded. Chemo will be 6 hours every three weeks for 3-4 months. This will not cure her only shrink or delay the cancer. The diagnosis remains the same. The radiation did work in her pelvic area and shrunk that significantly. That’s why she has been feeling so good.

Please continue in your prayers, God is listening.

Psalm 73:24-26 You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Mom's Christmas/Surprise Retirement Party

This past weekend I took mom back home for her work Christmas / SURPRISE retirement party. She invited her three daughters to come along with her and stay at a hotel that night. We arrived at the party around 6 pm. They had great food to eat; which was very tasty and off my counting points plan! They also had gifts for all the guests and employees. I thought that was very thoughtful! Mom didn't know it but they also had a surprise retirement for her. She spent 30 hard years and dedication at a place she really did love. I am so proud of my mother. She put a lot of love sweat and tears into her job and the residents miss her so much. Mom received some beautiful gifts but it didn't end there; she also received The Above and Beyond Award, out of 11 facilities she was chosen.

When mom's name was called up there, I said mom they called your name, she said no they didn't I said yes go up there, she said no, I said go mom...She was so nervous and didn't know what to say while she was up there so now I will share with you what she told me.

"I never thought so many people cared for me, I never thought I meant that much, they have been so wonderful to me and people gave me money and their vacation hours and had fundraisers for me, I can't believe it, how am I ever going to thank everyone? I miss the people and the residents and I miss being active, I wish I could go back to work."

Thanks again to everyone, you have no idea how you have touch my mom and her family by your love and generosity. Thank you and May God richly bless each and every one of you!

So we left the party to go back to the hotel. We sat in the hot tub for just a little while and ate again at 11 o’clock at night, we ordered pizza. I don’t think we slept much; I was really tired on Sunday. We never did play our games we brought. In the morning mom tried sharing God’s word with Connie, I hope a seed was planted.

Pam mom and I went to Pam’s church and heard an awesome message from the pastor. How we need to be God’s eyes, ears, hands, feet; that are job here is not done, too many people are dying without salvation. We need to have urgency about the lost. The words that spoke to me were being gentle yet consistent. I think without realizing it I may come across pushing but I feel it’s because God has revealed certain truths to me by wanting to be obedient and keeping in His word. So my next spiritual goal is to work on being gentle yet consistent. I’ve learned that it’s ok to swallow a piece of humble pie, that’s how we grow.

Matthew 18:3-5 And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. "And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.

The video was taken at the end of the night. Once one person heard we were leaving and a bunch of people came rushing and formed a goodbye line. I am sorry the video is dark in the beginning and at the end there is one swear word that I didn’t know how to edit. I played it from my camera. Not very good quality but I think you’ll get the “picture”

Letters From The Heart 33

Not really sure how to blog tonight...

Mom and I had a conversation today...

I don't want to get into the details of the discussion and the specifics are not important...

But I am asking for prayer over her without ceasing, please...

If you go to Him in spirit, He will hear your call and know your heart.

Thank you!
Be Blessed.

2 Samuel 12:16 David pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and went into his house and spent the nights lying on the ground.

Philippians 1:10 so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ.

Letters From The Heart 32

What a beautiful day...

Mom came to church and she just sparkled. You could just see the Holy Spirit radiate off of her. So many people mentioned how mom had a beautiful glow about her. I praise God how He is changing my mom.

During worship we sang the song “Our God Saves” and I had the Holy Ghost all over me, I couldn’t even sing it. I looked at mom and I wanted to drop down in Awe of God, how He saved my mother. Then we sang Grace Like Rain and again mom and I made eye contact and we both felt God’s mercy and forgiveness rain down on us. What an awesome day!

After mom brought us out to eat, the girls; mom, Fayth and I went out shopping and had so much fun being together.

Thank you Jesus for this day, we praise you for your faithfulness, gentleness, compassion, for your miracles, we praise you for your mighty deeds, we praise you for your healing power, we lift your name up to honor the Lord of Lords, we praise you for your promises, we praise you for your forgiveness and mercy, we love you!

You Make All Things New!

Revelation 21:4-6 He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true." He said to me: "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6b35E8zzASk&feature=related

Our God Saves

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fy6AJ6vVVgM&feature=related

Grace Like Rain